


Flames

by Demiwitchwoodwalker



Series: Burn [1]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt Neil Josten, I mean they get along better, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Mary Hatford’s A+ Parenting, Neil has serious issues, Protective Andrew Minyard, Wholesome Twinyards, also Aaron is great and under appreciated, because I say so, but that’s common knowledge, i guess, injuries, probably slightly ooc, sorta - Freeform, truth for a truth
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:40:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28104858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Demiwitchwoodwalker/pseuds/Demiwitchwoodwalker
Summary: Andrew has never expected his life to be anything even close to normal. He’s never been anywhere for long, and everywhere he went was accompanied by pain. Still, living with his cousin and brother feels as close as he’ll maybe ever get to feeling normal—until that’s disturbed too when a new kid shows up at their school, shrouded in mystery and trying a little too hard to fit in.Aka an AU where Neil and Andrew meet a bit earlier than canon and I bend some things to my own will.
Relationships: Aaron Minyard & Andrew Minyard, Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard, Nicky Hemmick & Aaron Minyard & Andrew Minyard, Nicky Hemmick/Erik Klose
Series: Burn [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2058972
Comments: 25
Kudos: 108





	1. Prologue

Andrew had never liked the silence. Silence meant nothing was happening, it meant the world had stopped, like it was holding its breath in preparation for something. If it was silent, that always meant something would come to disturb it. Silence was a threat. It always accompanied danger, like the calm before a storm. It was never safe when it was completely silent, there was always something waiting to strike when it seemed most surprising. 

Maybe that was part of why he played Exy. The court was never silent, someone was always yelling, or feet were slapping against the ground, even when they were outside. There was never any room for his mind to come up with things, for his thoughts to take control of him until keeping a blank face was actually difficult. Nothing ever really changed about the game. There had been the exact same people on his team since he’d started playing the year before, though a few left because they’d graduated, the people watching the games and practices were always the same. The familiarity of it was almost comforting because it made it easier to spot when something was different.

That’s why when he came to practice the first day of school, he immediately noticed the kid who had just moved there sitting in the bleachers. He was tense, as if he was about to run off, like he wasn’t supposed to be there. Which in a sense he wasn’t, the only people who ever came to watch practices were those dating the players, and even they weren’t always there.

There wasn’t anything particularly interesting about the way he looked, hair a light enough brown to be considered just between chocolate colored and sandy, skin relatively pale, and eyes a dull green from what Andrew could remember from the few classes he shared with him. But still, there was something off about him that he couldn’t quite figure out, like a big question mark was hovering over his head in bright red, bold font. Him showing up at Exy practice just added to the mystery that surrounded him, the mystery that Andrew found himself annoyingly urged to solve.

The chatter of his teammates, including Aaron, drifted over to him from where they were sitting at the bottom of the bleachers, loud and more excited than seemed possible for any normal group of people. They spoke about their summers, which all seemed rather bland to Andrew, not that he’d done anything more interesting over the past two and a half months, but still, going camping for a week wasn’t exciting. Aaron didn’t seem to share the same thoughts on the others being boring, he was actively part of the conversation they were all having, and when Andrew glanced over at them briefly he saw that his twin had a small, barely there, smile on his face. It was odd to see, he so rarely smiled, especially after Tilda had died, and Andrew quickly looked away again, gaze returning to the new kid, Neil Josten.

He had moved slightly, his backpack no longer on his back but resting at his feet. There was something tense about his posture, his movements jerky and stiff as he looked around the field, the bleachers on both sides of it, then down at the players. For a split second his gaze seemed to linger on Andrew, the weight of it seeming to push down on him, making the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. Then he looked away again and the weight lifted, leaving an odd sort of confusion in Andrew’s mind that only made him want to figure him out even more, if only to stop the odd interest he had in him.

The coach blew her whistle in that moment, however, cutting through Andrew’s thoughts like a knife and he sighed, resisting the urge to roll his eyes as he turned to face her. The rest of the team stopped talking and all jogged over to where the coach was standing near the goal, likely aware that Andrew wouldn’t move unless he considered it necessary. 

“Alright, everyone, welcome back! Try-outs are going to be in a week and our first game is on the 24th, so we don’t have time to waste! You get fifteen more minutes to warm up, then we’re going to split into two groups and play a quick game!” This time Andrew did roll his eyes, and stayed where he was while the rest of the team moved to stretch. The coach gave him a pointed, annoyed look but didn’t comment, likely knowing it would have no effect on him doing as she said. 

The rest of practice passed in a bit of a blur, as usual, though his mind was less focused on the sport he usually tried to ignore than he wanted it to be, and was more focused on the new kid, who had no reasons to be in his head at all. There was nothing technically interesting about him. He looked average, had a normal name, had moved from a town not too far from Columbia, and he didn’t try to bring any attention to himself during class. Still, there was something off about everything about him, something weird and interesting.

Over an hour later, after practice was over, Andrew, against his better judgement, glanced back at the bleachers on his way to the locker room. The new kid was gone, nowhere in sight. He must’ve disappeared at some point during practice without Andrew noticing, something which shouldn’t have bothered him as much as it did.


	2. Chapter One

“Guten Morgen, allesamt!” Frau Miller said the following Monday just after the bell rang, her tone obnoxiously enthusiastic, smile wide enough to show her nearly perfect white teeth. She clapped once and then turned to face the white board behind her, grabbing a marker and writing in large, capital letters:  _ PROJEKT _ , a word that could easily be understood by pretty much everyone who spoke English, even if they didn’t know German.

A collective groan echoed through the classroom at the sight of it and Andrew simply waited for an explanation on what type of project they had to do. If it was a project that required a group, he’d likely not end up doing anything, but if it was one he had to do on his own or with a partner he’d likely actually have to participate if he didn’t want to fail this class.

“Over the course of the next week and a half we will be working on a project about different aspects of German culture, just to sort of get us back in the swing of things after break! This project will be done in pairs, which I have already selected, and I will give each pair a certain topic to research and then present to the class by whichever means they choose, either with a poster, or a powerpoint, or maybe even a skit, if you want to, the only limit on its presentation is that it’s in German and has some sort of physical version, or copy, whether it’s printed or on a digital file that can be emailed to me.” Frau Miller smiled brightly at all of them and picked up a piece of paper from her desk, beginning to list all of the pairs of students that would be working together. Andrew tuned her out, knowing he likely wouldn’t be listed towards the beginning due to how far back in the alphabet his last name was.

“Neil Josten and Andrew Minyard.” Andrew looked up at the teacher at that, slightly confused as to why he of all people would be partnered with the new kid. Everyone always said they hated working with him, a fact that nobody even attempted to hide from him, so why would the new kid be put with him instead of one of the nice, smart kids that everyone seemed to love working with? “You two will work on social expectations and customs such as typical manners.”

Andrew’s gaze slid over to Neil, who sat two rows in front of him, three seats over to the left. His posture was tense, shoulders squared, back straight as if slouching in the slightest would result in punishment. It was a familiar sight, the way someone who knew that punishment for doing things wrong could be severe sat. Interest once again sparked inside of him, and that small detail about Neil Josten was stored somewhere in the back of his mind despite his best attempts to shove the interest inside of him away.

He glanced back at Andrew once the teacher began listing pairs again, his green eyes assessing and curious, as if he were summing up how much of a threat he could be. His gaze slid away again not two second later, but the tenseness in his shoulders didn’t ease, meaning he could likely tell that Andrew wasn’t as harmless as most people would think judging by his height.

“Alright, everyone, move to sit by your partners, you have the rest of the period to begin! If you want to go down to the library to use the computers or to check out books on your topics, just ask!” Frau Miller gave them all another wide smile as she placed the paper back on her desk and sat down in her chair, flicking her long, dark hair over her shoulder. The room erupted with noise as students moved from their seats, going over to wherever their partners were. Andrew stayed where he was, leaning back in his chair until the back of it rested against the wall behind him as he crossed his arms. Neil looked back at him and visibly sighed, grabbing his bag from the ground beside him. 

“Are we staying here or going to the library?” He asked without any sort of greeting as he grabbed the chair from the desk in front of Andrew’s and sat backwards on it, arms resting on the back of it. Andrew raised an eyebrow at him, not responding, though it was mostly due to him not caring and not him not wanting to reply.

“Fine, we’ll stay here then,” he sighed and dropped his bag on the floor at his feet. “What do you know about how people are expected to act in Germany?”

“That they’re supposed to sound angry no matter what they say,” Andrew said, smirking ever so slightly when he only received an eye roll in response. Neil picked his bag up and unzipped it, pulling a notebook out that already had a dark blue pen stuck through the rings. He leaned back slightly, bringing a knee up and resting the notebook on it, somehow not falling off the end of the chair in the process. In large, somewhat scraggly handwriting he wrote _Project - German Social Mannerisms_ on the top of the first page and then wrote under it, in smaller letters, _Expectations_.

“They’re expected to be smart, to be good in school and go on to have good jobs,” Neil said as if he were reciting a line from a textbook and quickly scribbled down what he’d said before looking back at Andrew. “Are you going to help or am I doing this on my own?”

“Depends.”

“On what?” He asked, tone obviously annoyed as he raised an eyebrow. 

“Whether you can keep my interest long enough.” Something flickered in Neil’s expression, uncertainty and confusion momentarily replacing his annoyance. Then they were gone again, nothing but a blank expression left in their place. 

“I’m a pretty uninteresting person,” he said, but something about the way he said it made it seem even more like a lie than Andrew already knew it to be.

“Somehow I doubt that.” Neil frowned at him for a second before looking back at the notebook he had written in, scribbling something else down in the list of “Expectations”.

“Then your instincts aren’t very good. I’m nothing, just a boring new kid.” Andrew raised an eyebrow, but didn’t comment on the lie that time. There wasn’t a point to doing it, whatever Neil was hiding, it wasn’t something he’d just admit when questioned about, meaning it was likely something serious, in some way.

“Give me the damn notebook,” Andrew said and Neil looked up at him in slight surprise before handing him the notebook and pen, leaning against the back of the chair again to watch as he scribbled more things under the list.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this is out of character, and I’m sorry the chapters are short, they’ll get longer, I swear. Anyways, I hope y’all liked this! You can find me on [My Tumblr](https://writing-is-hard-af.tumblr.com/)


	3. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said longer, didn’t I, lol? Welp... i don’t know if this counts as longer, but whatever... this is probably slightly ooc, but... well... yeah... sorry if it is.. 
> 
> Anyways, today’s Neil’s birthday, so a perfect day to post! I hope y’all enjoy this, even though nothing’s really happening yet. (I swear stuff will be interesting eventually, lol)
> 
> Also, if you want to, go visit [My Tumblr](https://writing-is-hard-af.tumblr.com/), I post some random aftg stuff, and I posted a couple of drawings of Neil earlier, so...

“Stop fidgeting before I take that pen and stab you with it,” Andrew snapped, looking up from one of the many papers they had scattered around them on the table to glare at Neil. He’d been repeatedly clicking the ballpoint he held in his left hand as he glanced nervously around at the few others in the library. A somewhat startled expression briefly crossed his face and his gaze met Andrew’s for a second before he looked down at the nearest paper to him, once again acting like there was nothing bothering him as he pulled it closer to himself. His eyes skimmed over the page, though he was quite obviously not properly focused on what was written there.

“Is there anything else we need to write down before we can actually turn this into a poster instead of just paper?” Neil asked, pulling a few more of the papers closer to himself and putting the pen down next to them, glancing up over at Andrew again for only a short moment.

“We have enough.” The papers rustled as Neil shuffled through them, frowning down at the combination of their two handwritings before looking around the library again, gaze lingering on two of the other students in their German class who were sitting nearby, hunched over a large piece of red poster paper, different types of glues and and markers and cardstock on the table around them. For a moment it seemed as if Neil was nervous about the fact that the other group was further than them on the project, and had he been anyone else that likely would’ve been the case, except there was something slightly different behind the glint in those green eyes, something Andrew couldn’t quite place beyond it simply being odd.

Interest sparked inside his chest again, and even though he tried to squash it like it was an annoying bug, it remained, pulsing through him like electricity. Neil should be a boring person, he should be just another face in an endless sea of nobodies who went through high school and then disappeared from Andrew’s life forever. Except for some reason he wasn’t. He was shrouded in mystery like it was a cloak, and everything he did just made him more confusing yet at the same time even more interesting.

Neil’s gaze wandered away from the other group again, scowling at Andrew when he noticed his eyes on him. “What?” 

Before either of them could say anything else, however, not that Andrew really planned to, the bell rang, signaling the end of class and the beginning of their lunch period.

* * *

The next day while they were once again working in the library, now with supplies to make a poster added to the mess of stuff spread out over their table, Neil’s nervous behavior was even more prominent. His gaze flitted around the room, lingering on the doors and windows, growing wary when it was directed at the aisles between the bookshelves that were hidden partially in shadows. His left hand’s fingers tapped against the wood table, the grip he had on his pen in his right hand so tight his knuckles stood out against his skin, stark white.

There was something almost unsettling about the anxiousness Neil was showing, like it wasn’t meant to be shown, like it wasn’t meant to exist in the first place. Once again, had Neil been anyone else Andrew would’ve blamed it on being nervous about getting a bad grade or not finishing on time, but there was just something off about the way he was acting, something that made it seem like he was nervous for completely different reasons. Like doing the project was causing him to struggle with something else, something that had nothing to do with school. It bothered Andrew like an itch, and he hated that he didn’t understand why or how he knew that there was something different going on that most would think. He’d always been better at observing people than most others were, but usually he  _ knew _ what he observed.

“What’s your problem?” Andrew demanded before he could stop the words from leaving his mouth. Neil’s gaze snapped away from the librarian to look at Andrew, eyebrows furrowing slightly though whether it was in confusion or something else was unclear. 

“What?”

“You won’t stop fidgeting and you look like you’re scared someone is going to attack you.” Andrew pointedly looked down at the hand gripping the pen, which immediately relaxed when Neil saw where his gaze was directed.

“I don’t have a problem, I’m fine,” he said and then, almost as if to prove a point, reached for the poster that lacked nearly everything but a title. Something about the way he said those words, especially the last two, made it sound like he’d said them a million times before, like it was his automatic response to being asked how he was or if he had some sort of issue. 

Andrew scowled at him, but didn't say anything in response to him. Commenting on his lie would accomplish nothing, that was something he’d figured out directly after meeting Neil. He avoided questions, and when he gave answers they were dismissive and vague, never elaborated on even when asked to be. Neil didn’t like to show anyone who he was, he pretended like he showed his personality to everyone, when that was anything but the truth, and whatever part of Andrew wanted to still believe Neil was boring was practically silenced despite his best efforts.

* * *

Neil seemed to make a point of acting completely normal the next couple days they worked on the project, no longer glancing around, no longer fidgeting, just working without saying anything besides making a few comments on what they had to do and where something went. The change was odd, and quite obviously purposeful, but Andrew didn’t comment on it. Instead, he just watched Neil more closely, though he wouldn’t admit to it, picking up on the slight jitter of his leg if he stayed in one spot too long, noticing the fact that his clothes were looser than most people’s, obviously old and worn out. Still, Andrew had no proper clue as to what was bothering the other boy so much, not until the day before they were supposed to present their project, at least.

They had finished their poster the day before and had technically nothing to do, so Neil just slumped down in his chair, head buried in his arms on the table they had once again taken at the library, which they had only gone to since the German classroom was obnoxiously loud. The action caused the sleeve of his sweatshirt to ride up his forearm, revealing a large, reddish purple patch of skin that stood out against his otherwise olive skin which was scattered with small scars of various shapes. 

Technically the bruise could have been caused by him simply having banged his arm into something, but Andrew knew that wasn’t the case without even looking at it for more than a second. The size and shape of the bruise was too familiar, too similar to the ones Andrew had had on his wrists before, too similar to the ones Aaron had had all the way up his arms on many occasions before they’d moved in with Nicky. The bruise wasn’t from an accident, it was done purposefully by someone else, though who it was, Andrew didn’t have a clue, and he hated that he wanted to know, that he felt a surge of anger in his chest at the sight of such a technically small injury. He didn’t know Neil. He had no reason to care. But still… he wanted to know for some reason completely unknown to him.


	4. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so... this isn’t exactly long, just a bit longer than the last chapter, and it’s definitely ooc (especially Aaron) but... y’know, I’m just not gonna worry about that, lol. They’re all a bit out of character, that’s just how it’s gonna be... Anyways, hope y’all enjoy this chapter!

Beside Andrew, Aaron talked enthusiastically about some project he had in Bio Med with a couple of the other Exy players. Whatever it was he was talking about escaped Andrew’s mind, his focus not directed at his brother’s rambles though he’d doubtlessly remember every detail about it later if he were to think back on it. Andrew’s focus was instead directed at the far corner of the cafeteria, closest to both the windows and doors but farthest from most other students, where Neil sat completely alone, something that was both difficult to succeed in doing and odd because most students didn’t leave the new kids on their own, even if it was simply so others—including teachers—thought they were kind and polite. 

Part of Andrew’s attention was still aimed at his brother, of course, distantly noting that his food was practically abandoned, barely touched where it sat on the table in front of him, though that could’ve been blamed on the fact that the school had maybe three, at most, decent tasting meals. Lexi and James, two of the other backliners on the team, listened, attention focused completely on him as if what he was talking about was actually interesting. They were probably the only people in the school Aaron considered to be his friends, and they had a decent influence on his choice to join the Exy team, something that he had at first argued with Andrew about doing when he suggested it the year before.

“That’s so cool! Mr. Wendel never gives us any kind of interesting projects. It’s like he tries to make the class as boring as humanly possible,” Lexi said and Andrew sighed, pushing himself up from the table, frowning briefly at the food on his tray that still looked the opposite of appetizing before grabbing it anyway.

Aaron looked up at him and blinked, raising an eyebrow but not voicing a question about what Andrew was doing. He simply turned his attention back to the other two, clearly stating that he didn’t care that Andrew was leaving the table. Lexi too gave him a short glance while James completely ignored the fact that he had stood up at all, actions that pretty much summed up their interactions with Andrew: Lexi acknowledged him but never really spoke to him and James completely ignored his existence. Andrew sort of liked it, being more the outsider, though at the same time a small part of hated it, a part that he ignored most of the time by shoving it to the very back of his mind where it remained mostly untouched.

A few people glanced at him as he walked through the cafeteria to the back corner where Neil sat, shoulders tense and head bowed as if he wanted to avoid any look anyone sent him, not that many did. Once again a jab of familiarity struck Andrew at the sight of the way he sat, even though it was different from the other one that had made him feel that way. Neil reminded him too much of himself just a few years prior, something Andrew hated that he noticed.

Andrew let the styrofoam tray he had in his hands fall onto the table with a decently loud thud, the chocolate milk carton on it nearly tipping over and spilling its contents everywhere. Neil jerked and his gaze snapped up from his nearly empty tray, though it seemed less like he’d eaten everything on it already and more like he hadn’t had much on it in the first place. He stared at Andrew as he plopped down in a chair across from him, eyebrows raised in a confused expression.

“What -”

“Aaron and his friends were being obnoxious.”

Neil continued to stare at him for a long moment before his gaze slid back down to his lunch tray, picking at his food. He didn’t ask who Aaron was, though there was a high chance he knew already considering it was in no way a secret that Andrew had a twin, in fact, Andrew was usually the one regarded as the other twin, simply because he’d moved there two years after Aaron. Neil’s sleeves were pulled as far down over his hands as possible, completely covering the spot where the bruise had been days before and likely still was. Why Andrew’s mind decided to focus on that was beyond him, it didn’t make much sense and certainly shouldn’t have been the case. He still didn’t know a thing about Neil Josten, just the things that everyone knew because for some reason it was common knowledge where the new kid had come from, a fact that was in a way slightly odd. Teachers didn’t just tell their classes where new students were from anymore, especially not when the student was new at the beginning of the year. That meant that Neil must’ve told people, something weird that didn’t quite add up with the rest of him.

“Where’d you learn German like that?” Andrew asked before he could really stop himself and Neil’s gaze snapped back to him, the same way it had days before in the library, eyes briefly showing a glimpse of fear like he’d been caught doing something he wasn’t meant to. Then the look disappeared again and he shrugged, gaze flicking over to the door just ten feet away.

“School.” The word sounded like the truth, though also like a lie at the same time.

“You have an accent,” Andrew pointed out and Neil rolled his eyes, shaking his head slightly.

“Just because I had a different teacher teach me German does not mean I have an accent. I just learned from a different person, who pronounced things different.” That was a lie though, that much was obvious even without Andrew having heard his cousin and his boyfriend speak on the phone for hours in German, Erik’s German spoken somewhat differently from Nicky’s. His _R_ s sounded more like low growls, his _S_ s sharper, everything more clearly spoken, like every letter had to be enunciated. That was how Neil spoke, like he learned German in Germany from being surrounded by it, not from a teacher who learned German in high school and college from someone else who had learned it the same way.

Neil wasn’t a boring person, no matter what he said. He was shrouded in layers of mystery, anything true about him hidden beneath countless lies and masks. Someone like that was interesting, simply because there was something about them to solve, and Andrew hated it.

* * *

“So you finally have a friend. Only took you, what? A year?” Aaron said, smirking ever so slightly in his brother’s direction as they walked home after Exy practice. It was the first time in months that he’d even attempted to tease or joke with Andrew, but there was barely any regret or anything of the sort in his gaze. It took some self-restraint to stop Andrew from looking over at him in surprise. Even before Tilda’s death Aaron had been nervous around him, had looked at him like he was dangerous somehow, like he was someone to just leave alone. Andrew had both hated and enjoyed it at the same time because while it meant he was left alone more, it also meant that Aaron didn’t trust him at all. Though, in a way, in Aaron’s eyes, his mistrust had been justified.

Aaron suddenly speaking to him as if he was one of his friends was disconcerting, and confusing. There was no reason for him to change his attitude toward Andrew so out of the blue, so abruptly. Andrew had given no indication that he was any less of a freak than Aaron had thought him to be ever since he met him just over two years ago right before Andrew had gotten out of Juvie.

“He’s not my friend.”

“Oh, really?” Aaron raised an eyebrow, halting briefly in his stride to face Andrew, “You only moved from our table to sit with him at lunch, something you never do, especially not of your own free will.” 

Andrew glared at him, speeding up his pace in a vain attempt to avoid having to deal with his twin. “He’s nothing.”

And he was, Neil meant nothing. He wasn’t important. He didn’t matter. Andrew didn’t know him, didn’t care about him. Except there was still something about him that pulled him towards him like he was a magnet, pulling Andrew towards him without even being aware of it. He was nothing, but he pulled Andrew in like he wasn’t and it was terrifying because that wasn’t meant to be the case for him with anyone. Nobody was allowed to affect him in any way, especially like that. All it did was make him weak, something he could never be because that made everything even more dangerous than it already was.

Aaron scoffed and shook his head slightly but didn’t further comment on it, though he did give Andrew a look that seemed to argue with what Andrew had said before as he walked up the driveway to the beatdown house they lived in with Nicky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want, you can go ahead and check out my [My Tumblr](https://writing-is-hard-af.tumblr.com/)!


	5. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someday the chapters will be longer than 2000 words, I swear. Someday.
> 
> Also, I wanna write Neil roasting people but it doesn’t fit in right now and it’s bothering me. I know who he’s gonna roast at some point, but like... that’s gotta wait and I gotta figure out the proper situation and worthy roast for him because... it must be perfect.

The next couple of days Andrew sat with Neil at lunch instead of with Aaron and his friends. There wasn’t much of a reason for why he did it, him doing it because it meant he got away from Aaron’s boring rants about his classes seemed like the most logical answer, so that’s what he told himself was the reason, though it wasn’t the complete truth. The other part of it was stupid, and shouldn’t have been a reason in the first place, so he ignored it. He tried to ignore the nervous glances Neil sent both his way and at the doors, like he wanted to bolt from the room as soon as possible. His attempt to do so was somewhat successful, though that was mostly due to the fact that he’d stopped being quite as tense by that Thursday. He stopped keeping his eyes on all of the entrances, stopped looking at Andrew like he was going to do something to him, and instead grew somewhat relaxed. It was rather weird, even weirder than him not having been like that from the start, even though that made no sense. 

The most confusing thing about it all didn’t happen until Friday, however. He actually spoke without Andrew saying or doing something first, which shouldn't have felt as out of place as it did, especially considering the fact that what he said wasn’t even particularly interesting.

“Why do you sit next to me instead of at one of the empty tables?”

Andrew regarded him for a moment, unsure what to say. How could he explain the fact that he didn’t know but also did? There was no logical reason why he sat next to Neil, nothing he could say that would make any sense whatsoever. He sat with him because he felt compelled to solve the mystery surrounding him, because he wanted to stop the interest he had in him, though admitting that would make that the case.

“It seems to bother you,” Andrew said instead of every thought running through his head that he could have responded with instead. The words were true in a way, him being there did seem to bother Neil, though that wasn’t exactly his reason for sitting there, bothering him just seemed to be the only way for him to not only show what he made himself show. It was the only way to get him to react.

Neil rolled his eyes and went back to picking at his food, plastic fork moving the spaghetti that Andrew knew from experience tasted appalling around his tray, smearing the too red sauce across the white styrofoam. It looked a bit like blood and Andrew averted his gaze, forcing flashes of memories away, back into the dark depths of his mind where they were supposed to stay. His hands twitched, fingers twisting the fabric of the tight armbands hidden beneath his sleeves, causing it to cut into his forearm. The twinge of pain caused by it brought his mind momentarily far enough from the past that he could successfully shove it all where it belonged, and he blinked. He continued to make the fabric bite into his arm for another moment, focusing on that instead. 

When he looked up again he noticed Neil had gotten up at some point and walked over to the garbage bin nearby, dumping his food into it. He slumped back down on the bench across from him, gaze focused on Andrew as if he could tell something had shifted in his mind in the past couple of minutes. Still, he didn’t say a word about it, just looked away, fingers tapping absentmindedly against the table.

* * *

Andrew knew before he really saw Neil at lunch that something was off with him the following Monday. In both Physics and German, he’d kept his hood up, posture somewhat slumped like he was trying to hide. It went completely against the way he usually acted in class, completely attentive, back straight, pen gripped tightly in his hand (not that he really used it). In a way it worked to hide him, though. He looked smaller, melted into the shadows of the room a bit more than usual, blended into the crowd of students who all showed some amount of boredom in the way they sat, whether they were truly spacing out or not.

At lunch, Andrew didn’t even bother getting food, and instead just sat across from Neil, who had avoided the line as well when he came into the cafeteria, something that was odd since he never didn’t get food, almost like him not getting food would mean he didn’t really eat anything. Judging by how thin and small he was, that wouldn’t have surprised Andrew. He didn’t look up when Andrew sat down, but he didn’t need to for him to see the dark bruise surrounding his left eye and down his cheek. It was new, that much was obvious from the fact that it hadn’t started to turn from purple and blue to green or yellow yet, but not new enough to have been from that morning.

Neil glanced up at him then, expression unreadable. “I wiped out on a skateboard,” he said in a voice quieter than Andrew had ever heard him use before. It was a lie, they both knew that, but for a brief moment Neil’s gaze seemed to beg for him to believe him even though he knew he had no reason to. Neil didn’t have a skateboard, if he did he would’ve used it or at least had it with him at some point over the course of the three weeks Andrew had known him. Even if he did, though, the mark on his cheek looked a little too much like a hand and the mark around his eye was too perfectly centered and aimed there for it to have been caused by concrete.

Someone was hurting Neil, and Andrew shouldn’t have cared, but he did, way more than he could admit to even himself. The surge of anger that he’d felt when he saw the bruise on Neil’s arm rushed back and Andrew’s fist clenched where it was resting on the table in front of him. He shouldn’t feel the need to protect Neil, shouldn’t want to get him away from the person who was hurting him.

The question of who it was that had hit him burned in the back of Andrew’s throat, but he ignored it. Asking Neil about it wouldn’t accomplish anything. Neil would never tell him who it was or how it happened or why, he’d act like he had no idea what Andrew was talking about and would then brush it off. That’s how Neil worked, in fact that’s how everyone being hurt by anything worked, Andrew knew that from experience. The only way to figure out what was going on without scaring Neil off was to just wait it out, to keep a close eye on him, keep him away from the place it seemed he was being hurt, which was at home, as much as possible. How Andrew would do that though was unclear, however, because he had no reasons to keep Neil at the school. It had been simpler with Aaron, but even that had been difficult.

_You don’t need to do anything,_ his thoughts whispered and Andrew looked away from Neil over at Aaron for a second before flicking his gaze back to him, _you have no promise with him. You don’t have a deal. He’s nothing, you don’t care about him._ He didn’t, or at least he shouldn’t, but Neil still drew him in and didn’t shove him back the other way like nearly everyone else and some part of Andrew didn’t want that to change. He hated being surrounded by people, hated people knowing anything about him, but at the same time part of him, the part he had tried to squash and get rid of many years ago after he’d been kicked out of his fifth home, wanted to have at least someone. It was unlikely Neil would be that person, it was unlikely anyone would, and Neil would probably be gone before Andrew even figured out what it was about him that was so odd and different, but still… Andrew wanted him to stay for just a bit longer and he _hated_ that he wanted that, hated that he wanted anything at all in the first place.

“You’re an idiot,” Andrew said to Neil, who blinked at him before looking away for a split second. His fingers twitched but didn’t start tapping like he usually did, instead he clenched fist for a moment and glanced out the windows. 

“Maybe.”

Andrew rolled his eyes and stood up, ignoring the fact that the tension in Neil’s shoulders had eased slightly when he didn’t mention the black eye and bruises. The lunch line was nearly nonexistent due to the fact that he’d waited to get anything and he snagged one of the leftover breakfast bars the school always left for people to grab instead of an actual meal, slipping it into his pocket without the cooks noticing while he got his actual food. 

Andrew tossed the bar—chocolate, which looked much more appetizing than the nachos on his tray that’s cheese looked more solid than creamy—across the table to Neil, who stared at it for a second before looking at him in confusion as he slowly picked it up. Instead of explaining, he just started eating his own food, ignoring Neil’s eyes on him. Andrew didn’t care about him, he was just making sure the idiot didn’t kill himself because then he’d have to put up with Aaron again during lunch. He didn’t care that Neil was clearly hiding more than he thought, didn’t care that he was hurt. Neil was nothing, Andrew told himself. If only that wasn’t a lie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (We’re gonna pretend like the thing with the spaghetti sauce made total sense... uh huh. Only reason i think it works is cause when it’s smeared it looks different for some reason (might just be me though, idk))If you want, you can go ahead and check out [My Tumblr](https://writing-is-hard-af.tumblr.com/)!


	6. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y’all, after I posted the last chapter I looked back over my outline and Neil was supposed to be a bit more hurt, which.... uh... apparently I just really like torturing him. I’m sorry, Neil, it ain’t getting better for you. Not for a long, long time..
> 
> I meant to have this finished and posted last week, but I ended up having more exams than I thought (finals week sucks) and didn’t have time to even look at this. This chapter is pretty much just a filler, and is set-up for the next few chapters, so... I’m sorry it’s kinda short and somewhat boring.

Neither of them mentioned the slowly fading bruises Neil had during the next couple of days. It would have been pointless anyways, because no matter how the conversation went, Neil wouldn’t tell him. Nothing he did gave away who exactly had done it, and he never spoke of his homelife, not that Andrew did either. The closest either of them got to mentioning it was when two days later Neil came to school with a bit of a limp, clearly favoring his left side as he walked into Physics class. Still, despite the fact that something inside of Andrew was demanding answers from Neil, was screaming that he needed to figure out what was so compelling about him, he didn’t say a word. All he did was scowl slightly at Neil and shake his head as he went to get the crappy food they were serving that day even though he probably wouldn’t eat much of it.

Nothing he asked would ever get answers out of Neil, and he was good enough at hiding himself away to make it impossible to figure something out simply from observing him. The only thing Andrew knew for sure about what was going on with him was that it wasn’t at school, it was somewhere else, likely at home, wherever in Columbia that was. There was nothing Andrew could do, he couldn’t follow Neil home both because he always disappeared right before the end of Exy practice, and Aaron would definitely question it if he didn’t come home with him but went off somewhere else instead without an explanation.

The only effective way to keep him out of trouble—danger—was to keep Neil away from home as much as possible, just as it had been with Aaron. Andrew didn’t allow himself to think about why he wanted to help Neil in any way, it wouldn’t do him any good, though at the same time, protecting Neil from whoever it was that was hurting him—a sibling, parent, aunt, cousin, _anyone—_ also wouldn’t do him any good. Neil was determined to be left alone and unquestioned, invisible, and that was all Andrew really knew about him. He made himself seem unimportant, forgettable in a way that could only be intentional, like he intended to run away and never have to look back because nobody would matter enough to look back at. Andrew paying attention to him likely only made things worse, but he just couldn’t stay away from him. No matter how _fucking_ _hard_ he tried to.

“Stay after practice for a bit.” Andrew didn’t have a clue why he said those words, they simply slipped out before he could stop them, something he wasn’t used to and certainly did not enjoy. He was supposed to have complete control over himself, not say whatever he was thinking even if it was illogical and stupid.

Neil froze, plastic fork halfway between his tray and his mouth, and blinked at Andrew. His eyebrows furrowed slightly and he lowered the utensil again instead of eating the chunk of canned pear speared on it.

“What?”

“I’m not going to repeat myself. You heard me.” Neil scowled at him and rolled his eyes before picking his fork back up. 

“I meant, why should I?”

“Then why didn’t you say _why_?” He knew it was pointless to try and avoid the question, Neil wasn’t falling for it, but still, he didn’t know why he had said what he had. The words had simply slipped out, they weren’t meant to be said because they lacked a reason to come from him. 

“Fuck you,” Neil muttered, still, he didn’t argue with staying.

* * *

“So you really didn’t run off, Josten,” Andrew said instead of a greeting as he sat down next to Neil on the highest row of the bleachers. All he got in response was an eye roll and an annoyed glare.

“Are you going to tell me why you told me to stay?” Neil demanded a few seconds later. Andrew didn’t respond, just pulled one of the few packs of cigarettes he’d managed to steal a few months previously out of his pocket. Usually he left them hidden in his bedside table, untouched unless sleep became impossible and he needed to do _something_ to distract himself from his own mind. It was a waste to light one now, but he needed to do something and needed to avoid Neil’s questions. 

“Where did you get those?” Neil eyed the cigarettes in what at first seemed like annoyance though after a second seemed more like envy. Andrew glanced over at him, eyebrow raised. What did it matter where he’d gotten them? Neil didn’t seem to actually care, the question had some other meaning, but Andrew didn’t have a clue what it was.

“Whatever,” Neil sighed and pulled his backpack towards himself, taking his physics textbook out of it along with a notebook. He glanced at Andrew again for a brief moment before flipping the book open, ignoring Andrew’s eye roll. Andrew knew it was impossible for him to avoid Neil’s questions forever, especially if he was planning on keeping him away from home for a longer period of time than just that day. Still, he could try.


	7. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So chapters in one day? Yes, they’re both short though so it’s more like one of my normal chapters. Then again, all the chapters in this fic seem to be shorter than my usual chapters so... anyways, hope y’all enjoy this!

“Why do you always come watch Exy practices even though you never bothered to try out in the first place?” Andrew asked, speaking for the first time during the few hours that he’d managed to keep Neil at the school after practice for the past week. Neil looked up from his German homework that he’d been working on for the past twenty minutes and stared at Andrew for a couple of seconds, emotions flickering behind his eyes, changing too quickly for him to catch on to what he was trying to hide.

“I’m not allowed to play,” he said quietly, looking away from Andrew again, the grip on his pen so tight that his knuckles stood out starkly against his skin. Andrew raised an eyebrow, but didn’t ask anything further. It was more of an answer than anything else he’d gotten from Neil since he met him, asking more would either result in more lies or with him running. If he wanted to say more he would. 

Neil stared down at his notebook for a few moments but didn’t move to write anything else down. The jumbled mess that was likely his thoughts was almost audible as he scowled and then put his pen down. He turned slightly to face Andrew, briefly chewing on his lower lip before gulping.

“I want to play, more than pretty much anything, but I can’t, because it’s against the rules, watching practice isn’t though.” Andrew frowned ever so slightly at that. There was no school rule about who could try out and who couldn’t, no rule about who could be on the team and who couldn’t, as long as you were good enough to play. So whose rule was it? The question burned in the back of his throat, but he bit back on it. He wouldn’t get a straight answer out of him either way, probably wouldn’t give him any answer at all in fact.

“You can ask me something,” Andrew said and Neil blinked, staring back at him for a long moment. His eyebrows furrowed and for the first time Andrew noticed the odd sort of ring around his irises. It could have just been the outer ring of them being a slightly different shade of green, a lot of people’s eyes were like that, but there was something off about it, though what it was, Andrew couldn’t quite put his finger on. “That’s how this works.”

Neil was silent again for a long time, picking his pen back up and tapping its end against his notebook. His gaze flicked over to Andrew and then he looked away again, briefly pursing his lips.

“Why do you play Exy if you hate it so much? You barely participate in practice, but I can tell you’re good.” Andrew hesitated, breath catching briefly in his throat as he gazed down at the goal where he had stood just under an hour previously. It wasn’t like him to falter with anything, but that question caused him to hesitate. Not even Aaron had asked that, even when Andrew had gotten him to play too. He hated that for once responding to something was hard. Usually, even when he was lying, he could reply without an ounce of hesitation, he could say things without any emotion behind them, could make it sound like he was telling the truth even if he was telling the opposite.

“It keeps the silence away,” Andrew said after a long beat of silence where Neil stared at him. He kept his gaze directed at the goal, but still, he saw Neil’s small nod. Neil didn’t look away from him, just continued to stare at him with an expression that was both painstakingly familiar and completely foreign all at once. His eyes shone with understanding, not hidden by anything like most of his expressions were, and for once Andrew didn’t hate it quite as much. The look wasn’t borne of false pity and sympathy, wasn’t only there because the person thought somehow they were doing something good for someone who didn’t have very much good in their life. It wasn’t on the face of someone who acted like they cared and wanted to help but really just thought of you like a charity case that’d have it better off afterwards just so they’d feel better about themselves later.


End file.
